Monday, May 13, 2013

Baby Birth Control

Who needs birth control when you have a newborn? No one, that's who. You barely get any sleep at night so you are exhausted beyond belief. Any and all energy goes into caring for your little coffee bean or trying to take a shower or brush your teeth. The house is a mess, there's dirty laundry everywhere and for god's sake can someone please vacuum??

Even though sex was the last thing on my mind for the first few weeks after Alexa's birth, those thoughts do start creeping in again. And if your husband is anything like mine, they get a voice too. A loud voice.

Now for those of you moms out there, you know that you can't have sex for 6-8 weeks after the birth of your little bean, or until your doctor gives you the thumbs up. I could still barely walk 6 weeks after Alexa's birth, so sex was not even on the table. For those of you who didn't know that, it's true, write it down and then add a few weeks because that will be when you might be ready for sex again. Maybe.

I finally had my "Post birth" checkup at 7 1/2 weeks postpartum and was given the all clear from my doctor. I wanted to be informed, so we discussed the different birth control options I had. I was, however, shocked and stunned by what my doctor said.  I was told, "Well, if you're breastfeeding..." We do not live in a third world country, we live in Austria.  Apparently, a place with sometimes ridiculous beliefs in old wives tales! My gynecologist literally told me that I wouldn't get knocked up again as long as I was breastfeeding. I also thought I wouldn't get my period as long as I was breastfeeding, but that turned out to be a big fat lie! Anyhow, we've opted for condoms. Wrap it up or get out!

The first time having sex after having a baby is worse than the first time having sex EVER.  Between the fear, anxiety and the's a freaking wonder that people have more than one kid! I hope I haven't traumatized too many of you, it's not bad every time, but that first time is a doozy!

I'm so glad we've opted to use condoms as our birth control and not something more expensive like an IUD or the pill because honestly at least condoms don't have to be taken every day and can just be pulled out when needed. Although finding the time and energy to have sex seems to be somewhat of a problem. When we do have the time and the energy the baby inevitably wakes up, cries, spits out her binky...anything to keep us from actually having sex! It's like she's trying to make sure that she's an only child for a while!

So don't you worry new moms, not only will you probably not enjoy sex for a good while after giving birth, but on the off chance that you would like to engage in some kind of sexual sport with your spouse, partner, or whomever, you won't be able to because baby birth control will stop you every single time.

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