A baby's gonna do what a baby's gonna do.

Towards the end of my pregnancy and then again after Alexa was born, a friend of mine told me not to expect to be able to have my child on a schedule any time soon. She said that as soon as the baby would get into a routine they would switch it up and do the total opposite the next day. She said knowing this up front would save me a lot of headaches. I managed to keep her advice in mind for a long time...then I actively tried to schedule my baby. It worked for three (3) days. They were three amazingly glorious days. She slept wonderful naps (she did so before this schedule as well), went to bed nicely at night and best of all...SLEPT at night. She was only waking up ONCE...that is one time from bed time to wake up time. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Then today occurred and she said that was enough of that. She has napped randomly, barely eaten at all and was a super crank butt all day. Now, she might have a little cold (that's what I'm saying it is...), or she's just being a baby and she's had enough of my routine and she's switching it up. Well, as long as she eats, sleeps and poops as dictated by the job description of a baby, well, then we will figure out what her new schedule is tomorrow!

P.S. Dear love baby, I really hope you continue to sleep so well at night. It makes Mommy very, very happy and I extra love you for it too! Love, Mama

On-demand vs. Scheduled Breastfeeding

Before I moved to Austria [for love ;)], I was an Infant Room Teacher, an Au pair and a nanny. I had been around children, infants and toddlers my entire life because I came from such a large family. I started babysitting when I was 11 years old (what the heck were those parents thinking?!?!). My baby knowledge is extensive. I have trained babies to sleep, to eat, to be pretty awesome kids. I know how to do this. Let's face it, I was a baby guru! It is (was) in my blood. And then I got pregnant and had my own baby. All previous knowledge and know how flew right out the window. Well, I've had enough of brain dead baby mamma and am calling on all my old guruness to please come back to me!

When Alexa was born, the nurses and midwives told me to feed her whenever she rooted, but also not to let her go more than three hours without nursing. I have basically let her dictate her feeding schedule (and every other aspect of her life and mine) since birth. Now, I'm over it. I am so exhausted and cannot cope with waking up every 2-3 hours at night just so she can have a "sip" and then watch as she falls seamlessly back to sleep while I am wide awake for the next hour! Mamma needs a nap. That is why, I have decided to start scheduling my previously free spirited, any time you want it baby. It is hard and it hurts me...physically hurts me. My boobs are now the size of watermelons (previously they were honeydew melons) and they are literally throbbing, but I am holding fast. I will nurse her every three hours during the day. I am hoping that this will help her establish a better feeding pattern and that she will actually nurse properly before bedtime and then (for the love of God please) sleep longer stretches at night.

July 1st was day 1...and it sucked. My original plan was to have our day start at 7am. She normally wakes up to nurse around 4am, so I didn't really think that pushing her next feeding to 7am would be that big of a deal. It was and I caved. Our day went like this...

5am Wake up, play, snuggle, try and play some more, do not nurse!
6am Nurse (Yup, I caved that easily - my happy baby turned into super sad baby. No good.)
Morning playtime and hang out time
9am Nurse
10:15-11am Morning Nap
12pm Nurse
12:40-1pm Cat nap (disaster)
Afternoon nap time was a disaster. Normally Alexa nurses before she goes down for her AWESOME 2-3 hour nap...it wasn't time to nurse...she wouldn't go down for a nap. I put her in her crib and tried to let her chill out, but that led to serious crying. We read books and I rocked her until she fell asleep (so snuggly and I love it, but rocking her to sleep is not a habit I would like to get into.).
2:15-4:20pm Afternoon nap (FINALLY!)
3pm dream feed (she was still sleeping and I really wanted to keep the feeding schedule, especially since it's day 1)
4:30pm dinner (peas and carrots)
6pm Nurse and bed
6-7:40pm Sleep
(I tried to let her kind of fuss and find her binky, but after about 5-10 minutes it was clear that she was just wide awake!)
9pm Nurse and bed
1:45am (!!!) Nurse and straight back to bed
4:45am Bink
5:30am (!!!) Wake up!

I got so much sleep that night. It was AMAZING!!! By 7am on day 2, I had a load of laundry in, the dishwasher was running and dinner was already prepped. Go energizer Mommy!

Day 2 went REALLY REALLY well! Basically, every 3 hours I nursed her. She took a one hour morning nap, went down right after her noon feeding for an awesome 2 1/2 hour afternoon nap, ate dinner, nursed, had a bath and then went to bed at 9pm. She slept until 3:30am!!!!! Nursed and then went back to sleep until 7:15am!!! Go baby go!

Being a mom is definitely a "learn as you go" job. It's the best job I've ever had!

Training Mommy

I'm pretty convinced that my 11 week old is trying to train me...and succeeding at it. She cries, I jump up and run to her. She cries her hungry cry, I go and feed her. She cries in a different way, I jump up super fast and run to her. She wines, I slowly make my way over to her. Any way you spin it, she's clearly the one making all the calls. For a few days, she let's me think I'm in charge and then just when I think I've got it all figured out BAM a new training session begins.

For a little over a week she was on the most amazing schedule to date. She was sleeping at night from about 7:30/7:45pm-5:30/6:00am and only waking up once to nurse around 3:30/4:30am and would go right back to sleep after she was done. She woke up happy and playful in the morning and would hang out for a couple hours, nurse and then take an awesomely long nap (2 hours or so!!). She'd wake up happy as can be from her nap, cooing and playing in her crib just waiting for mommy to come and get her, and then we would play more, read books, you name it. She was alert and happy and interested in looking at the pictures in the book, looking at what was going on outside, actually paying attention (as much attention as a 2 1/2 month old can give) to whatever was going on around her. She'd then either take a couple shorter naps in the afternoon or be a rock star and take another 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon. It was seriously the best week ever!! Then Monday arrived.

NOTE: Anytime you think your baby is finally on a schedule, BEWARE!! That schedule is about to do a 180 and leave you feeling even more exhausted and zombie-like than you already were. So many of my friends warned me about these schedule scheming babies, but did I listen?? Nope. I thought, my baby will be so awesome and will be on a permanent schedule by the time she's a month old! When that didn't happen, I bought myself some time by saying, "Well, she's only a month old, maybe we'll try again when she's 6-8 weeks old." Well friends, my little butter bean is 11 weeks old and she still makes up her own schedule and it still changes just as soon as I get used to it!

Alexa's awesome schedule turned into my biggest nightmare. From every 4-5 hour nursing sessions which lasted MAX 15-20 minutes, we have now reverted to every 2 hour feedings that last an easy hour. AN HOUR!!! She cries when she's hungry, she cries while she's eating and she cries after she's done. She cries when she's playing, when she's being held, and when she's not being held. My happy little angel has turned into a starving, crying velociraptor.

How many of you have your little ones on a great schedule? What is that schedule?  I thought I had Alexa on a schedule, but really, I'm on her schedule and it is ever changing. Most of the time I feel like I am barely keeping up. Maybe one day she'll train me to sleep through the night again. I wonder what that will be like?

Weaning Bean's mom

I swore that when I had kids I would never let them do a whole list of things that I thought other parents were out of their minds for allowing their kids to do. At the top of this list was letting your baby/toddler/8 year old sleep in your bed. I've lectured parents about how horrible this behavior is, preached about the importance of children learning independence, and so on and so forth. Let me tell you, Guru Danielle hasn't even had permission to visit my house since I've given birth! I get it now. Once you become a parent you sleep when you can and where you can. If that means little Joey or little Susy is sleeping on top of you, next to you, in your bed, on the couch or the whole family is cuddled up on the dog's bed, then guess what, that's just fine! They call breast milk gold, but sleep, sleep is like a bucket full of diamonds! Get it how you can, however you can.

Now, I haven't totally gone back on all of my "When I have kids, I'm never going to..." I mean, on a technicality I never let her sleep in my bed, my marriage bed that is. Instead, I put a bed in her room and we sleep there :) I've slept in her room with her since we brought her home from the hospital. The first couple of weeks, she even slept in the bed with me, but would sleep in her crib for naps and initially at bedtime, but as soon as she'd wake up I'd stick her in bed with me! Honestly, I think it comforted me as much as it did her. I liked knowing that she was right there, I could stare at her, obsessively check to make sure she was still breathing,  and of course, we got to have some really good snuggle time.

Well, last night I decided it was time for me to move back to my bedroom. (I've been deciding this every night for the last three weeks.) I finally made the move...checked the baby, got in my pajamas, checked the baby, got a glass of water, looked at the baby, brought my pillow back to my own bed, stared at the baby, started thinking I was crazy and stupid for even thinking I could sleep in my own bed in my own room, stared longer at the baby...she was sleeping so soundly and she was going to stay sleeping, thought about how uncomfortable the bed in her room is, looked at the bed, looked at the baby, went into my room!!, went and checked on the baby, double checked the baby monitor in her room and in our room, did several tests with the help of my husband to make sure I could hear her when she woke up, kissed my husband good night, kissed my sleeping bean good night, and went to bed...IN MY OWN BED! This was a big step for me. I'm pretty sure she didn't even notice that I wasn't sleeping three feet away from her crib. I noticed, but only because every coo and binky suck didn't wake me up! I slept 5  whole hours in a row before she woke up to nurse and then she went back to sleep so I was able to go back to sleep to...for another 2 1/2 hours!! I got 7 1/2 hours of sleep...in ONE NIGHT! This is a miracle! Why didn't I think about moving back to my own bed sooner? I know why, I wasn't ready.

Sometimes it's really hard being a mom. You're afraid of everything, even sleeping in your own bed in your own room.

Did any of you co-sleep? I'd love to hear your stories too! The good, the bad, and the ugly, sharing is nice ;)